when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize