I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
