Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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