Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize