u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Come on in and take your pants off
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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