yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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