I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize