Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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