just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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