Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
