Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize