shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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