U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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