I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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