he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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