i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
