He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
