Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
