I just made out with a guy for $7.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
