I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
