i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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