I'm really into asian looking animals
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
