i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
