She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The air was thick with penises
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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