i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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