I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize