i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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