She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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