i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
