its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I want you more than these girls want KFC
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
