I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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