it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
