either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
