Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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