'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
