hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
