dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
