I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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