It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
