I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
