I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
please come you make the beer taste better
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
