I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
