We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
