I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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