names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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