sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
soo... how was my night?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
