I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
