i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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