Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
