Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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