Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
