it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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