Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
