i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
