marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize