that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
