This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
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