Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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