margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i drank out of a bidet.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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