turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
