my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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