Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
