Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My ass is underappreciated
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
