I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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