if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Couch. On fire.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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