I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
