The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she told me i tasted like america
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
