WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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