thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
