it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
