i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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