the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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