i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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