You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
