Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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