i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
