Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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