words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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